Jean Genie...

There are some things about being a woman that are a complete and utter nightmare.  Childbirth, for example, or the pressure of a patriarchal society to look 'nice' at all times.  But one of THE most irritating and frustrating things about being female is the buying of jeans.  Now I know any bloke reading this is going to go "what?  How hard can it be, ffs; surely you just pull a pair off the rails in your size and Robert is indeed your mother's brother?!!"  Any woman reading this, however, will be nodding their heads and punching the air screaming "YES!  A thousand times yes; thank you for acknowledging my pain!!"  Well, I might be exaggerating that bit, but when it comes to buying new denims it is a strange woman who doesn't give even the teeniest of shudders at the thought.

Now I have several pairs of jeans, some of which fit me better than others - because of that weirdly female combination of small waist, big hips, bigger bum - but I've been after a pair of lighter blue ones for a while, to try and alleviate the black, black, dark blue and more black which seem to make up my collection.  Buying jeans, however, is like going on a Grail Quest; you have to psyche yourself up for it, prepare to spend hours on it and, unless a miracle occurs, be prepared to very disappointed by the end of it.  Only twice have I ever found *the* perfect pair of jeans and both were complete flukes because I found them in charity shops; when I set out on my lunch break in search of my own denim grail today, I wasn't exactly hopeful.  Mainly because the current fashion for jeans appears to be so super-skinny and skintight that you can't breathe - it's a sure sign you're getting old when your first consideration when buying jeans is not "are they fashionable?" and "are they sexy?" but "are they comfortable?" and "can I sit down in them without feeling like I'm cutting myself in half?"  C'est la vie...

Today, however, the Gods were smiling.  After trying on several pairs I found not one but two almost perfectly fitting pairs of jeans that didn't cost the earth.  Mission Impossible?  HA!  More like Mission Accomplished...

Of course this is probably my quota of jeans-buying good luck for the next twenty years...