Monday 16 August 2010

People Say The Funniest Things...

...usually when I'm in the oddest situations. Take today, for example. There I was, laying on the table in the ultrasound room in the hospital, minding my own business, when the doctor gets a massive grin on his face and says to his student doctor "you see - lovely patient, lovely anatomy!" Said student doctor then turns round, grins at me and agrees, "oh yes, lovely anatomy!"

I'm sorry, but WHAT?!?! I have no idea if that's a compliment, a weird medical chat-up line (in which case I am suing both your asses) or the sort of thing Jack the Ripper would say shortly before carving out your insides. It was just one of those really, really bizarre things that you hear occasionally. I just wish I knew why people said such weird things to me. I mean, do I have a huge neon sign above my head that says, "hello, I will talk to weirdos and smile when you say completely random things"? If so, how do I unplug it? I mean, I like the fact that my friends can talk to me about anything, even if I have no idea what advice to give them. I like the fact that old ladies sometimes talk to me at bus stops, because it reminds me that being old can be lonely and friends are to be cherished while we have them. I even like the fact that, just occasionally, I get total strangers serenading me with 'You're Once, Twice, Three Times A Lady" on the drunk train. I can even cope with the local drunken tramp having his "'ello, darlin', spare us a quid," conversation with me. But for the love of God, people, get some context!! Trains, buses, supermarket queues...perfectly acceptable for weird conversations with utter strangers. When I'm laying on my back in a bloody medical facility, however - not acceptable. Not ever. In a trillion years.

What's worrying me now is that I have to go back to hospital on Wednesday for more tests. I'm stressing enough about the next two days as it is, as the preparation for these tests is gonna be hell on wheels, but I have to go under sedation for them as well. So now not only do I have to worry about the medical staff saying weird things to me, I'll probably end up talking complete and utter crap back to them.

No change there, then. Hey, maybe that's why I always get the weird ones...

3 comments:

Lanky? said...

you see most men would just say "nice boobs" at least they were polite about it ;)

The Mothership said...

did they also say you had acue appendicitis as well??!! (oh the old jokes are still ... the old jokes ...)

Kate said...

Ah, but you are not most men, Ray... ;-)

Ha. Ha. Mother. xx