On Hero Worship

There's an old saying that you should never meet your heroes because you'll only end up disappointed. Well, I can quite cheerfully say that I have been fortunate enough to meet 2 of my heroes this year and neither of them has disappointed me. The first was Laura Richards, who I met at domestic violence conference in March. Laura is an absolute hero of mine for her work in the criminal profiling field; she has also worked with another of my heroes in the field, John Douglas, and has devised the new risk assessment that is being rolled out nationwide as we speak. For all this alone, Laura deserves respect...the fact that she was incredibly lovely and generous with her time when I went up to her like some geeky fangirl at a pop concert afterwards is just an amazing bonus. And then she said that if I emailed her, she'd send me a list of books to read since I was so interested in criminal profiling and psychology; this later proved not to be just a throwaway comment as, when I bit the bullet and emailed her, she was as good as her word.

The second of my heroes that I've met, and the one that really means the most to me for deeply personal reasons, is the singer Sarah Jezebel Deva. For years known only as "that woman who sings with Cradle of Filth" (or Mortiis, or Therion, or any other number of bands you could mention), Sarah has recently branched out on her own with an album in 2006 from her band Angtoria and a solo album this year. Last night was the final night of her first solo tour, at the Underworld in Camden, and despite the fact that I felt absolutely exhausted and ill, I was determined to go and see the show; it had already been postponed from May and besides, Sarah's music has got me through some really bad times in the past so no way was I going to pass up the chance to see the lady herself. And I am so, so pleased that I went now, because not only was the show utterly incredible, but I actually got to meet her and she was just awesome.

The story is this: I made a necklace for Sarah as a way of saying thank you to her for making such powerful songs which have got me through some really, really bad times. When I haven't felt able to express how I feel about certain situations, her songs have spoken to me and said the words for me. (And yes, I realise this makes me border on the lunatic-psycho-fangirl-stalker, but it isn't meant like that). After the show - which was completely amazing; she and the band deserve to be playing to a hell of a lot more people than were there last night - I wasn't sure whether Sarah would be waiting for everyone to leave before coming out to celebrate with her friends and family, but she had pointed out her godmother earlier on in the show, and I so I took a chance and, as politely as I could because I didn't want to be intrusive, asked her if she would please give the necklace to Sarah. Well. Her godmother is also a fantastically-lovely person; she immediately asked her daughter if Sarah was coming out, and when I explained the situation her daughter went backstage and returned a few minutes later with Sarah. I was completely and utterly gobsmacked. I was even more gobsmacked when she told me that I was really sweet for making the necklace for her and that she would wear it; when I managed to tell her why I'd done it, she gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and - despite the fact she probably just wanted to chill out after the show - she spoke to me for a couple of minutes. To top it all off today, after I posted on her FB page about it, she said it had been the first gift as a frontwoman she'd ever received. (Believe me, Sarah, I'm sure it won't be the last!) I am soooo amazed by how lovely she is, and yet I'm actually not at all surprised in a lot of ways because she's always seemed to be very down to earth. It was just amazing and has not only made me feel a bit brighter but has also made me more determined than ever that whatever this thing is (IBS or Crohns or whatever) it is NOT going to beat me. Sarah Jezebel Deva has proved that you can go through really, really terrible times in your life and come out the other side a stronger person; she's inspired me to do so in the past and she's inspiring me again. I won't give up without a fight and I WILL get through this latest problem, no matter how difficult it is. I have a lot of strong female role models in my life, including Sarah, and I look to them as my inspirations and my heroines. On a day when Theresa May, the Home Secretary, scraps a law that bans domestic abusers from the home for 2 weeks to allow their partners time to consider their options and get out, I am eternally grateful that there are still strong, powerful women out there that girls can look to as their role models. Theresa May will never join my mum on my 'inspirational' list, but Sarah Jezebel Deva most definitely will...