Inspiring Women...

I had an email today that made me stop and think (thanks, Oxfam). The 8th March is International Women's Day, a day to celebrate the achievements of 'the fairer sex' past and present, and they were asking people to tell them about the women who inspire them and who they will be celebrating come the big day. This happens to tie in very nicely with a book I'm reading at the moment (shockingly, not about serial killers, sex workers, vampires or scandalous artists and/or poets), so despite the fact it's a few weeks too early, I shall take advantage of the inspiration and write a blog entry on the women who inspire me the most.

The first is glaringly obvious. Clearly I and every other emancipated woman in the UK owe a HUGE debt of honour to Mrs Pankhurst and all the other women who fought, suffered and, in many cases, died in the struggle for women's suffrage. It sort of goes without saying that come the 8th March, I will pause for a moment and think of them, the pioneers; the women who refused to accept the status quo and stood up for what they believed to be right. They were often cruelly treated in the eyes of the law (hasn't that always been the Lot of Woman?) but they were utterly fearless in the face of oppression, imprisonment, assault (both physical and sexual) and force-feeding and for that I stand humbled and grateful before their collective greatness.

The second is perhaps just as obvious but many times more personal: my mum. There just aren't enough words in the dictionary to describe what an amazing woman my mum actually is, but I'm going to try...Not only did she give me life, but she has been there for me every single day since; for every illness; school performance; boy crisis; friend crisis; the good times and the bad, she is always there to support me and scold me when needed. After my parents divorced and we moved in with her parents, Mum raised the two of us while holding down a full-time job and, eventually, helping nurse my Grandad through his final illness. When I went through my own 'troubles' for a few years, she was always there to love me and let me know she was there for me; I didn't appreciate it at the time, and I'm fairly certain that if it were me I'd have booted me out of the house for being so unremittingly horrid to everyone, but now I appreciate just how much she actually did for me. And it's not just me - whenever any of the family or her many friends need her, she's there, even if things in her own life aren't going so swimmingly. Mum, if you read this, I know I don't tell you often enough just how much I love and appreciate you but you truly are one of my best friends and a total inspiration to me. xx

My third inspiring lady is the utterly fantabulous Sarah Jezebel Deva. Sarah inspires me because she knows exactly what she wants and she goes out and works bloody hard for it; when she was unceremoniously bumped from Cradle of Filth's tour, she didn't let it deter her ambitions and has moved from 'that bird who sings backing vocals' to a front-woman in her own right. And a bloody brilliant one at that. She's worked her arse off to get to where she is and in my own humble and very biased opinion, she deserves to have all the success in the world. Not only has she come a long way (and battled a fair few demons of her own, I understand) but she is one of the nicest people I have ever had the privilege of meeting and I wish her all the success in the world.

My fourth inspiring woman is Elizabeth Siddal. Lizzie is probably best known as either the tragic wife and muse of poet and artist Dante Gabriel Rossetti, or as the model for John Millais' beautiful painting of Ophelia in the Tate Britain gallery. What many people don't know is that Lizzie was a highly talented artist and painter in her own right, and the streak of melancholy which runs through her work strangely appeals to me. I admire Lizzie in a strange sort of way; some of her behaviour was frankly appalling, but I understand exactly why she did it and in those days women had to do whatever they could to ensure their survival. Lizzie was an individual when most women did as they were told; her work as an artist is incredible for someone who learnt so late in life and her poetry is just beautiful. It saddens me that more people don't know about her (perhaps that's another blog entry) but part of me is glad as well; it makes me feel like I know something the rest of the word doesn't.

Fifth, Hillary Rodham Clinton. Hillary is just so, so inspirational; it was her "women's rights are human rights" speech that first helped politicise me. She trained as a lawyer, was the first female partner in her law firm, and the first female chair of the Legal Services Corporation. As both Governor's wife and First Lady, she campaigned tirelessly for the rights of women and children and worked incredibly hard behind the scenes. When the Monica Lewinsky scandal hit, Hillary was dignified throughout the whole thing and as Secretary of State she's the most powerful and influential woman in America. She hasn't always been right and I haven't always agreed with her methods, her beliefs or her actions, but when it comes down to it I think she's an outstandingly powerful advocate for what women can achieve.

My last heroine is a relatively new discovery for me. I picked up a book called 'The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks' thinking it was a novel; turns out, it's a true story. Henrietta Lacks was a poor black woman who died of cervical cancer in the early 1950's. Before her treatment, such as it was in those days, began, doctors took a sample of the cells from the cancer (without her knowledge or consent) and sent them to a lab in attempt to grow them. Henrietta sadly passed away; her cells, however, kept right on growing and multiplying and developing, and are still growing to this day. He-La, as the chain is known, was right there at the forefront of genetic and cell research; they were the first ever cells to stay alive in culture since research had begun a few decades earlier, and they haven't stopped since. Henrietta's cells were used to develop the polio vaccine; they have been part of the research into the genes which cause cancer and those which suppress it; they helped develop drugs to treat Parkinson’s, influenza, leukaemia...Henrietta Lacks is one of THE most important woman in medical history and yet hardly anyone knows about her. It was absolutely dreadful that the cells were taken without her consent, and heartbreaking that she died, but Henrietta Lacks is one of those women who need to be celebrated on 8th March. Her cells, and therefore part of Henrietta herself, live on...

There are of course other women that have inspired and moved me, but this is my core 'pantheon' and I will celebrate them on International Women's Day with pride and gratitude...

So come on, guys 'n' gals...who are YOUR inspirational women?

The Wanderer Returns...

So I am back from the frozen and miserable wastes of Wolverhampton. And no, for once this is not me being melodramatic; it was bloody cold, wet and inexorably miserable up there. I can’t even imagine it being nice in the sunshine. And there’s not much to do, either…but I shall come on to that.

So why, I hear you ask, was a pathetic Southern softy like me up in the Midlands area when I was clearly so unimpressed with the place. Well, dearest blog-verse, t’was not my design, but I was there to see a band. And not just any band but the mighty and utterly fantabulous Apocalyptica. And, what is more, I went to said gig in said Midlands’s town with my Baby. It was, in fact, epic for many reasons…

Obviously, the most fabulous reason was seeing Gemma. Gem-Gem, you are such a warm and wonderful person that I can’t quite believe I’ve only known you a year. I always have so much fun when we’re together and Thursday was no exception. It’s also nice to know that I’m not the only dedicated/certifiable Apocalyptica fangirl in the gang; I finally rocked up to the party at about 3.30pm on the day after travelling up that morning, but Gem had been firmly in place at the front of the queue since 10am. Now that is dedication…I also got to meet the equally awesome Nick, Sophie and Tori, who had been queuing with the Baby since about 12, and I finally got to meet Imogen and Cez. Guys, you are all fantabulous people and you made queuing up in the cold absolutely hilarious. Whenever I see coach loads of slightly scared-looking school children, I shall think of you all and cackle hysterically. I haven’t had so much fun in ages and you were all awesome.

Once they opened the doors and we got inside, we managed to be right at the very front of the stage. We were on the right hand side, because the pesky VIP’s had managed to bag the centre spot, but as it turned out it was a pretty good spot. The first support band were called Awake By Design; never heard of them but damn, they were amazing!! Bassist was cute too…*cough* Anyway, they were really, really god; so much so that I bought their debut album after the show – best fiver I’ve spent in a long while, I reckon…

The next band on were Pain of Salvation, who I’ve heard a lot about (and heard Daniel Gildenlow sing on an Ayreon album) but I didn’t know their stuff especially. I am a convert. Daniel’s voice is even more amazing live, and he’s so charismatic on stage…they were brilliant. I couldn’t tell you what they played, but I’d see them again for sure.

And then, of course, there was Apocalyptica. I honestly think they are one of my favourite ever bands to see live, and this time I was right in the front. I got to exchange sticky-out-tongues with Perttu (sigh…) and was close enough to shriek at Mikko like a banshee when he came to join the other guys at the front. It. Was. Epic. And Gem had got some bags of wine gums for them (cos they like wine gums, apparently) and had stuck stickers on them so that there was one for each of the four guys from Gem, Cez, Imy and me. Awesome idea, sweetie, and Perttu certainly looked like he appreciated them!! All in all, it was a fabulous, fabulous evening and will go down as one of my favourite ever gig experiences. Thanks to Gemma, Imy, Cez, Nick, Sophie and Tori for making it all so much fun, and to Awake By Design, Pain of Salvation and Apocalyptica for making me completely deaf and spend most of Friday with my sexy husky voice after I screamed so much. It was appreciated.

Friday was spent wandering the streets of Wolverhampton like a vagabond, trying to find something to do before my train left at 7.45pm. There is a lovely art gallery that I wandered around very happily for two hours, and then I took the five giraffes Thelma, Louise, Brad, Butch and Sundance (sorry, Mooms, they’ll always be Butch and Sundance to me) down to the canals so we could take piccies of locks and ducks and things, but then it started to rain and I had to find something to do. Sadly, there isn’t anything to do, unless you like shopping centres. I went and looked round the church, which was very pretty, but it was a long, cold, wet afternoon. Still, I can now say I’ve been to Wolverhampton. Er, yeah…

On a brighter note, I am off to lovely Brighton tomorrow to see Hellyeah, Avenged Sevenfold and Stone Sour. Corey Taylor will certainly put a smile back on my face…marvellous…

I Strop, Therefore I Am...

Bonjour blogverse!! Remember me? I appear to have been decidedly lax in writing my usual incoherent rambles recently - this is what I get for going on holiday and then going away for a long weekend; I get out of the habit of writing and then I can never find anything to say. It's vastly annoying.

Which brings me to...today's rant. I mean post. Whatever. Things that annoy, irritate and wind me up beyond belief. Please excuse the no doubt emo-ness of this entry, I'm ever hopeful that I'll stop being a mardy cow in the very near future and be back to my normal blog-shattering best. Or worst, depending on your point of view. It's very stressy at work at the moment with all this prostitution research (yes, I'm still doing it. The research, that is. Not...never mind). Just when I think I've cracked it, I find another sodding report to to read. Ho hum...

So, things that annoy me very muchly at present...

1) Some of the reports I'm having to read. When I was at university studying research methods and ethics and shiz, I was taught that although every researcher clearly has their own bias, opinions etc, a good researcher doesn't let them influence the actual work. Clearly some people never got the memo, and it's making it very difficult for me to actually read said reports because while they may have perfectly valid and useful info in them, I want to fling them across the room shrieking like a demented banshee.
2) Also on this theme...some of the men interviewed about their use of prostitutes are tools and make me despair for the future of the species. I've known a few arses before but some of these morons take the cake. And the guy who said that using prostitutes is like going to Tescos? You need therapy. Or sectioning. Either way, you must never be allowed near a supermarket...it's for the good of everyone involved.
3) People. Specifically people who antagonise, wind up, piss off and upset my friends or in any other way make their lives different from the warm love-hugs-and-sunshine vibes I would wish for them. You've seen the Incredible Hulk, right? You know what happens when he gets angry? Ok, now look at my profile picture and imagine me green and muscly. You will not know what hit you when I'm finished with you...
4) Footballers who are completely unable to sing their national anthem. Ok, so 'God Save The Queen' might not be the most stirring of anthems (that would be Italy) but it's ours and anyone lucky enough to represent their country at the highest level should at least have the decency to mouth the words at the very least. If I was a top-class footballer (unlikely, I know, but stick with me) I would be so thrilled to get the chance to represent my country that I would sing the whole of God Save The Queen from start to finish and be bloody proud and honoured to do so. The rest of you overpaid prima-donna's can sod off.
5) Car and perfume adverts. Just tell me if I can drive the car from A to B and if the perfume is vaguely nice rather than all this stupid posturing and flouncing about. I mean really - the new Opium ad is just pointless.
6) My body. It is officially crap and I want a new one. Preferably one that doesn't break down every five minutes. Is that too much to ask for?

However...all is not doom-and-gloom in the world of the Kady-cat at the moment. I have discovered that I am a song! Several songs, actually, and I'm not talking about the ones that use my real name. (Although Ben Fold Five's 'Kate' is just...well, there are no words). But for those of you who first knew me from my slightly manic posts on the Nightwish forum, you will know that in some corners of the web I go by the name Nocturna (I shall not reveal my others - self-preservation and all that). Thanks to a combination of boredom, frustration and curiosity, as I picked the name seemingly at random only because I am a bit of a 'creature of the night', I went googling for songs about my nom de plume, and I have to say I like what I found. There are a lot of songs that are 'Nocturna Something' or 'Something Nocturna', so I guess that's cheating a little bit, but it still counts as far as I'm concerned. So, songs about moi...

Therion - Via Nocturna. It's all about following Nocturna and Luna to midnight revels - so I am the moon and the key to the kingdom. Obviously.



Old Man's Child - Hominis Nocturna. This is a grower...never heard of them but hey, new is good.



Moonspell - Nocturna. Ah, Moonspell...I've been converted to you.



Anabantha - Nocturna. Ok, I have never heard of this Mexican band until now and I sprechen pas de Spanish, but this song is fab. And it has a FF8 video - what's not to love?!?!



So there you go. Nocturna is, in fact, awesome...

Oooh...Spooky!

The air turns chill, the leaves are starting to fall and the long dark nights are drawing in. Merlin and Strictly Come Dancing are back/soon to be back on our screens (there will, no doubt, be more posts on Strictly once it properly starts - I have a weakness for it). It can mean only one thing - Winter will soon be upon us.

All is not lost, however. I love the autumnal time of year anyway; from Mabon (which, by the way, is this Wednesday, so happy Autumn Equinox everyone) through to Samhain, there's a magick in the air that can't be explained. There's also the glorious pleasure of snuggling up on the sofa, hot chocolate in hand, and watching good telly. And - oh joy of joys - Monday's have become bearable again (at least for the next eight weeks) with the return of Spooks. *cue Kate's madly over exuberant bouncing, resulting in a fall from the bed*

Ok, ok, I have to admit it - this is an incredibly shallow post. I could spend hours going into the gritty realism, the brilliant acting, the expansive and gripping storylines and the fabulous special effects (a girl's gotta love those huge explosions, after all). I could tell you that I've learned more about counter-terrorism and the workings of MI5 from watching Spooks than I ever thought I'd need to know, and that because of the show I'm fully fluent in 'techie nerd' and 'computer geek' speak. Or I could just be really, brutally honest and admit that, while I always had a passing fascination with the show thanks to the storylines, explosions and the whole spying thing, it's only since Richard Armitage joined the team that I've really made sure I never miss an episode. Oh sure, I used to watch it, but I never fretted if I missed an episode or two and I was always able to do something else at the same time, like flick through a magazine or tap away at the computer. Since Mr A got his MI5 credentials, however, Monday night has become Spooks night and nothing, not even a half-naked rugby team standing on my doorstep (wait, which half? Oh, it doesn't matter anyway...) can drag me away from my drooling. I mean studious appraisal. Or something. *coughs*

So yes, this post is very, very shallow indeed. So I'm a walking boyband sometimes - a mile wide and an inch deep, that's me. But sometimes there's no shame in it. I mean look at this bloke. Seriously, just look at him...

Ok, ok, you can stop looking now. Seriously, stop. Back off, girls - Lady Nocturna doesn't do sharesies. Not even for you, Mooms...although if Sexy Becks is in your luggage upon your return from sunny LA then I'm open to negotiation...And not only is the divine Mr A single and sexy, he's also *swoon* highly intelligent and according to more than one of my sources, he's an absolute old-fashioned gentleman as well *swoon again* Seriously, ladies, back off. I'll bite...

This will be the last post on the blog for a few days as I'm to the wild and wet north-west of Bonny Scotland and shall be sans t'internet for a while. Sadly I'm not going with Richard Armitage (now there's a fantasy I'm not sharing...) but will no doubt have a thoroughly excellent, if not a slightly soggy time. I shall, however, leave you with another of my current crushes (what?): the always-awesome Black Stone Cherry. I saw them last year at around this time (October, I believe) and it was amazing; they're one of my favourite bands ever and Chris' voice is just...*shivers* The first song is 'Things My Father Said', which makes me howl like a baby because it's so beautiful; the second is 'Devil's Queen', which is my favourite song from their second album Folklore and Superstition. Sorry that the quality on the second one is 100%, but I freaking love this song! Oh, and because I'm a video-whore and a total slapper, I'm putting a Corey Taylor video on here; the beautiful version of 'Snuff' that he played at Sonisphere 2010 and dedicated to Paul Gray when I SAW HIM!! Ahem...it's my blog, I can do what I want. :D Ah, you know you guys are gonna miss me...Till I return from Soggy Scotland, farewell. And enjoy the music!! xx

OH GODS, I LOVE THIS MAN!!!!

Yes, It's Fucking Political!!!

Sometimes the world is a wonderful place, full of magick and abundance, when butterflies dance on shafts of light and there is music and mystery in the babbling brooks and on the gentle breezes. And sometimes the world is like the playground bully who steals your lunch money, punches you in the guts and then, for good measure, kicks sand in your face before running off laughing with your best friend.

When this happens, there are two strategies you can adopt. The first is to scream obscenities in the general direction of the All-Powerful Force of the Universe, shaking your fist and screaming how unfair the whole thing is before collapsing in a sobbing, hysterical heap on the floor. The second, always advocated by the hippy-dippy or ultra-religious lot, is to Count Your Blessings; the idea being that even in the depths of your ultimate despair you'll still be able to summon up the oomph to thank whichever Power you believe in that you aren't a starving African child or a victim of the Haitian earthquake. Clearly those people have never been in the depths of a depression so powerful that actually being a starving African child is preferable to your own miserable existence. Unless it's a starving African child adopted by Angelina Jolie or Madonna; then I think I'll stick with the pit of depression.

I, however, favour a third way. Although I try and count 3 good things that have happened to me each day and chronicle them in my notebook (I know; I'm such a hippy), there are always other things that I know I can count on when the going gets really, really tough...

1) My family, specifically my mum. Even when I have been the most unbearably awful child imaginable, shrieking in hysterical hypochondria or just generally being a complete cow, she is always, always there for me. I wish that everyone could be so lucky to have such a mother; however, no matter how much I love you, you cannot have her - she is mine and I won't do sharesies!!

2) My friends. They are all so different and yet all so dear to me. 'Nuff said, really.

3) Books. Opening a book is like opening a door into another world. There is always something new and wondrous to discover and sometimes you need to be taken out of the craptacular real world for a bit and play somewhere else.

4) Music. Ahh, music. Now this is always guaranteed to make my day because there is quite literally a song for every occasion; something to make the mood and the moment feel more intense. Music soothes the savage beast, it is the food of love and it's the best thing to get you through the good, the bad, the indifferent and just about anything you can think of. A few examples of my own personal soundtrack to life...

* Songs for expressing your righteous anger at the scumbags that somehow pass as politicians these days, with their smug smiles and their silly Eton haircuts: Yes, It's Fucking Political by Skunk Anansie; Take The Power Back by Rage Against The Machine; Fuck You by Lily Allen.
* Songs for being a general pain in "The Man's" butt: anything by Rage Against The Machine, really, but Killing In The Name Of goes down well...or not!
* Songs that remind me of my friends: Trash by Suede; Rasputin by Turisas; Escapist by Nightwish and (for Lee) Don't Stop Movin' by S Club 7. Remember lunchtimes in the pub, Lee-Lee? Ahh, happy days...
* Songs for getting over a break up: A Child That Walks In The Path Of A Man by Angtoria; Fighter by Christina Aguilera; A Rancid Romance by Diablo Swing Orchestra; Liar by Emilie Autumn; Smoke and Mirrors by Paloma Faith.
* Songs that take me right back to my teenage years: Weak by Skunk Anansie; Trash by Suede; Stupid Girl by Garbage; Yourself by the Manic Street Preachers; Bohemian Like You by the Dandy Warhols; Paint Pastel Princess by Silverchair; Local Boy in the Photograph by the Stereophonics; Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana.
* Songs for a bit of a 'feminist' moment: She's Like Thunder by Doro; Return of the Mother by Nina Hagen; Bitch by Sarah Jezebel Deva; That's What the Wise Lady Said by Angtoria; Why Didn't You Call Me by Macy Gray.
* Songs for my 'girlie fae' moments: What If, Rapunzel and Juliet, all by Emilie Autumn; Queen of the May, Wytches, Pagan Born, Heartbeat of the Earth, Midnight Queen, Beltane and pretty much anything by Inkubus Sukkubus.
* Songs guaranteed to reduce me to tears: Unintended and Sing For Absolution by Muse; Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley; Name by the Goo Goo Dolls; Feint by Epica; Bother by Corey Taylor; Piece of my Heart by Janis Joplin; Peace is Free by Black Stone Cherry; This is Yesterday by the Manic Street Preachers; Breathe by Abney Park; Faraway Vol. 2 by Apocalyptica.
* Songs that are better than Prozac: Drumming Song by Florence and the Machine; National Express by the Divine Comedy; The Ballad of Tom Jones by Spaced with Cerys Matthews; She Bangs by Ricky Martin; Love Machine by Girls Aloud; Airship Pirates by Abney Park; Wild Dances by Ruslana; anything by Lordi and anything by Motley Crue. Oh, and Du Hast and Pussy by Rammstein. Pussy also fits into the "songs that are not appropriate for singing in public as I found out to my eternal shame" category, along with 'The Devil is a Loser' by Lordi. Ahem...

So yeah, there you go. Quite a mixed bag, and that's only the stuff I've listened to recently or the categories that have been most appropriate recently. There are, of course, a million million more songs for both all of these categories and any other category you can think of. I honestly can't imagine my life without any of these four things, to be honest; if 'Heaven' is a place without my mum, my friends, my books and my music, you can keep it. Ooh, now there's a topic for a musical playlist...

MUSE!!!!!

Ahem. *coughs* Yes, I think I'm still a little overemotional after the gig last night. I'm also incredibly tired, which doesn't help the emotion and also makes me unable to type (not to mention turns me into Oscar the Grouch!)

I wish I could tell you, in exact detail, everything about seeing Muse at Wembley last night. I wish I could explain, without sounding like a total fangirl, how important their music has been to me in the past when dealing with "stuff". I wish I could describe exactly why I cried last night on actually getting to see them live. I even wish I could put into words exactly what it is about them that I love so much (besides the fact that I fancy Matt Bellamy like mad). But I can't. I actually, physically cannot find the words. All I can tell you is that the White Rabbits have become a new favorite band of mine, the Big Pink needn't have bothered, Lily Allen was just amazing and I love her, and Muse were...well, Muse were Muse. And Goddess, how emotional...Luckily for me, this time round they didn't play "Unintended" or "Sing for Absolution", because then I would have had to have been taken away by the men in white coats and given ECT to calm my hysterical sobs, but they did play this song (video from their last Wembley gig) and it did reduce me to tears.

Rob - this is for you. You know why. xx

Head. Desk.

This is going to probably be a very, very, very short and possibly quite ranty and disjointed post because I am close to blowing a gasket. I shall not dwell on the details because to do so would only make me turn violent; suffice to say that certain people need to realise that a group that was set up for fun is not a dictatorship and I will not be held responsible for expressing an opinion. I'm awaiting both the backlash and my expulsion from said group. Up the Proles!!

On a related-but-happier note, I am trying to get my arse in gear to come up with something vaguely workable for the annual trial that is NaNoWriMo (that's National Novel Writing Month to the less acronym-happy among you). Every year I say 'never again' and yet, come November or July, I am poised over my laptop in a feverish haze attempting to knock out 50,000+ words of something sort-of coherant. It's like an addiction or something. So as November prepares to roll around, I find myself once again at a complete loss for what to write. As it's NaNo, I can't finish the never-ending epic that I started last JulNoWriMo (July Novel Writing Month) because it has to be a completely new piece of work; but although I have a few vague ideas floating around, I can't make a decision or formulate a plot. The options so far?

1) Something based on the life of one of my heroines, Elizabeth Siddal, which is what I planned to do for one of my 2 (yes, 2!) novels last November; I started it but it didn't go to plan as I had no real idea what I was doing, trying to combine her life story with that of a modern girl who was obsessed with Lizzie. So not autobiographical at all, then. ;)
2) Something about the 'Winchester Geese' and the Crossbones Cemetary - I'm spending my days at work at the moment researching prostitution and the 'single women' *coughprostitutescough* buried in Crossbones intrigued me even before I started this.
3) I have a vague notion of Death's Goddaughter being my heroine. She works in a morgue and has a smart-arse cat called Mr Eddie, a live-in ghost called Henry and...and I have no idea what to do with her/them.
4) Something based on a weird dream I had this morning involving the world being devastated by plague, 'safe' communities and the wandering rabid plague victims, and me marrying some Irish guy clled Johnny. Nope, I dunno what it means either.
5) Just writing "help" 50,000 times over.

So yeah, no pressure to come up with anything. Maybe something will crop up the night before, like it did when I wrote the epic that became Poppy Valentine. I must revisit that...

Anyways, to lighten my mood, a video. This was taken (not by me, although I was picture-happy on the night!) at the Sarah Jezebel Deva gig at the Underworld in August. She's awesome, her band are awesome (I got friend-requested by Ablaz, the bassist, which was weird but uber-cool; he rocks!) and the whole night was awesome. I love this song...

General Ramblings

Bit of an assortment on the blogging front today. Mainly because I have nothing really to say/rant about this evening, and partly because I've been doing about five different things at once tonight.

1) I have been an 'expert' (HA!) on all things witchy/pagan/witch trials
2) I have got slightly too excited about the fact that there were ancient Goddess figurines found in Orkney (I love archaeology programmes on telly!)
3) I have been annoyed because Epica posted that they were doing a European tour; I got mega overexcited and went to their website; the UK is apparently not in Europe because they aren't playing here. WHY?!?!?!
4) I have worked out that there are far too many gigs and albums coming up in the next few months that I want/want to go to.
5) I am considering going to the Bridge Fest at Canning Town on Sunday, mainly because the fabulous and wonderful Sarah Jezebel Deva is playing, even though I have no one to go with at present.
6) I am also considering entering a few writing competitions - and that's the second place that I've put it down in black and white (well, type) and so now I suppose I'd better do it.
7) I am on a total music obsession at the moment; it's getting ridiculous. If I don't stop listening to Pendulum soon, I'm going to bugger the CD...

Wow, seven things! Who says women can't multitask?! Although everything has been underwritten by the seventh thing, it has to be said: for a girl who hates dance music, I have become seriously obsessed with Pendulum; their most recent album has been on my 'must buy' list since it came out and I finally got around to it this week - now I can't stop playing it! Mind you, when a song is as beautiful as 'Watercolour', it's kind of hard not to...



Right, I'm off to bed to have dreams about the lovely Rob Swire singing this song to me...

If Music Be The Food Of Love...Part 2

I actually think I would die if I didn't have music in my life. I could sort of cope with losing my sight, even as a writer and an avid reader, and although taste and smell would be a bit of a loss as well, it wouldn't be the end of the world if one of them had to go. I don't think I have to worry about losing my sense of touch - after all, even if I was just a head I could still roll around and bump into things - but the one sense that would probably kill me to lose would be my hearing. The thought of living without music, without hearing the songs and bands that I love or getting to hear and discover new ones makes shivers run down my spine. To never hear Apocalyptica make Metallica songs bearable; to never have realised how sexy Corey Taylor's voice is when he's not in Slipknot; to never have been moved by the power of Sarah Jezebel Deva; to never have heard Vibeke Stene, Janis Joplin, Mama Cass, Jimi Hendrix, Jeff Buckley...it's so depressing it's untrue!

Which is why I've spent a lazy afternoon transferring poems currently scribbled on scrappy pieces of paper into my notebook with my mp3 player firmly clamped to my ears. It's been utter bliss; I've rediscovered songs that I a) had no idea were on here and b) had completely forgotten about, and not only is it utterly inspiring to have my favourite singers warbling away in my ears, it's also incredibly soothing. I always know that, whenever I'm struggling to express myself, somewhere out there is a song that does it for me. Methinks ABBA were onto something when they sang "thank you for the music," although if I was to personally thank all the bands, singers and songwriters over the years who have given voice to my emotions and thoughts and provided the soundtrack to my life, I'd be here 'til long after the Apocalypse has been and gone. As previously mentioned, I've been through several musical incarnations over the years, and some of the old favourites have stuck around as a new phase has started, so there are a helluva lot of people on that list...I may never be able to list you all individually (she says, as if they actually read this blog!) but you're in my heart forever. Such is the power of music...

With that in mind, I have become slightly addicted to one of the games on the Nightwish forum. Basically, you whack your mp3 player on 'shuffle' and then the title of each song forms the answer to the questions. Sometimes it's completely incomprehensible (I still get hysterics when I think about the time that the answer to the question "what do your exes think of you?" was 'Swallow' by Emilie Autumn); sometimes they tend to almost make sense, but its a reasonably entertaining way to pass the time when you're 'plugged in' so I've been doing it while writing this blog entry and Facebooking...lets see what we came up with...

How are you feeling today?
Manic Aeon – Sirenia (true…I have been a bit manic today)

What do your friends think of you?
Whore of Heaven – Inkubus Sukkubus (gee, thanks guys…bastards!)

What does your family think of you?
Mad Girl – Emilie Autumn (now that’s definitely true!)

What do strangers think of you?
Like Dylan in the Movies – Belle and Sebastian (cool!)

What do your exes think of you?
Control the Storm – Delain (don’t break my heart then!)

What do you like in a girl/guy?
Siberian Love Affairs – Diablo Swing Orchestra (so I need to be on the lookout for a Siberian fella, eh?)

What is your motto?
Breathe Easy – Sugababes (sounds like reasonable advice!)

Are you good at school/job?
Traffic – Stereophonics (either I’m heading for a career change or this makes no sense!)

Will you have kids?
Dead Boy’s Poem – Nightwish (that would be a no, then…or I’m going to murder my hypothetical son!)

Will you get married?
Yield to Temptation – After Forever (interesting…)

What song will you dance to at your wedding?
The Ballad of Tom Jones – Spaced feat. Cerys Matthews (hahaha, I would actually seriously get married just to do that! Especially given what the song is about…)

What do you think about very often?
The Way You Said Goodnight – The Magnetic Fields (the way who said goodnight though?)

What is a song for today?
Original Sin (The Devil’s Waiting in the Wings) – Angtoria (spookily appropriate for a Sunday…and the fact that it’s, well, me…)

What is a song for tomorrow?
Spectators of Suicide – Manic Street Preachers (I sincerely hope not!)

What is a song for every day?
Dance of Fate – Epica (yay!)

What will next year bring?
Somewhere – Within Temptation (well, that’s as clear as mud…)

What will you do on the weekend?
Castle Down – Emilie Autumn (ooh, sounds interesting…)

What song should they play at your funeral?
About A Girl – Nirvana (yes please!)

What song should they play on your birthday?
Water Fire Heaven Earth – Van Canto (only if you get Van Canto to do it…*dies*)

Will you have a sucessful future?
What If? – Emilie Autumn (ambigous…nice…)

What is your biggest fear?
Half Jack – Dresden Dolls (in a bizarre twist, I can relate…)

What is your biggest secret?
Wicked Game – Stone Sour (well, it’s not a secret now, is it? Tsk…)

How will you die?
Doors Closing Slowly – Manic Street Preachers (I shall avoid doors at all costs then…)

"I've Had An Idea..."

If anyone ever happens to be in the vicinity when I say this next, please feel free to give me a good thwack upside the head and scream at me in whichever language you happen to know best. I will not be offended. I may be mildly surprised at first, and may possibly even attempt to assault you with something blunt, but after I have calmed down you can remind me of this post and all shall be forgiven.

See, I'm a great one for ideas. Oh yes, give you a million if you wanted. Unfortunately, they tend to be not very well thought out...my bright spark idea this afternoon was to upload some more songs onto my laptop and then transfer them to my mp3 player. Then I decided to wipe my mp3 player and start again, so that I could put lots of nice new shiny tunes on the system. So what's the problem, I hear you ask; that all sounds well and good to me.

In theory, of course, there is no problem. In theory, it is a perfectly reasonable thing to spend a Saturday afternoon doing. In practice, however, thanks to the fact that I have many more CD's missing from my laptop than I thought, coupled with the fact that my external disc drive is slower than a tortoise with asthma and takes forever to copy a CD, it is taking an age to get to the point where I can start copying things over. I may be here for quite sometime...

On the plus side, however, I have rediscovered some of my favourite stuff that was lurking around at the back of the shelving unit. I also appear to be in possession of a large number of albums that would make people go "eh?" if they were to see them. And you know what? I don't actually care! So hurrah for eclectic, eccentric musical tastes; hurrah for bright ideas and hurrah for the person who is able to figure out a way of doing this quicker...*sigh*

On Hero Worship

There's an old saying that you should never meet your heroes because you'll only end up disappointed. Well, I can quite cheerfully say that I have been fortunate enough to meet 2 of my heroes this year and neither of them has disappointed me. The first was Laura Richards, who I met at domestic violence conference in March. Laura is an absolute hero of mine for her work in the criminal profiling field; she has also worked with another of my heroes in the field, John Douglas, and has devised the new risk assessment that is being rolled out nationwide as we speak. For all this alone, Laura deserves respect...the fact that she was incredibly lovely and generous with her time when I went up to her like some geeky fangirl at a pop concert afterwards is just an amazing bonus. And then she said that if I emailed her, she'd send me a list of books to read since I was so interested in criminal profiling and psychology; this later proved not to be just a throwaway comment as, when I bit the bullet and emailed her, she was as good as her word.

The second of my heroes that I've met, and the one that really means the most to me for deeply personal reasons, is the singer Sarah Jezebel Deva. For years known only as "that woman who sings with Cradle of Filth" (or Mortiis, or Therion, or any other number of bands you could mention), Sarah has recently branched out on her own with an album in 2006 from her band Angtoria and a solo album this year. Last night was the final night of her first solo tour, at the Underworld in Camden, and despite the fact that I felt absolutely exhausted and ill, I was determined to go and see the show; it had already been postponed from May and besides, Sarah's music has got me through some really bad times in the past so no way was I going to pass up the chance to see the lady herself. And I am so, so pleased that I went now, because not only was the show utterly incredible, but I actually got to meet her and she was just awesome.

The story is this: I made a necklace for Sarah as a way of saying thank you to her for making such powerful songs which have got me through some really, really bad times. When I haven't felt able to express how I feel about certain situations, her songs have spoken to me and said the words for me. (And yes, I realise this makes me border on the lunatic-psycho-fangirl-stalker, but it isn't meant like that). After the show - which was completely amazing; she and the band deserve to be playing to a hell of a lot more people than were there last night - I wasn't sure whether Sarah would be waiting for everyone to leave before coming out to celebrate with her friends and family, but she had pointed out her godmother earlier on in the show, and I so I took a chance and, as politely as I could because I didn't want to be intrusive, asked her if she would please give the necklace to Sarah. Well. Her godmother is also a fantastically-lovely person; she immediately asked her daughter if Sarah was coming out, and when I explained the situation her daughter went backstage and returned a few minutes later with Sarah. I was completely and utterly gobsmacked. I was even more gobsmacked when she told me that I was really sweet for making the necklace for her and that she would wear it; when I managed to tell her why I'd done it, she gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and - despite the fact she probably just wanted to chill out after the show - she spoke to me for a couple of minutes. To top it all off today, after I posted on her FB page about it, she said it had been the first gift as a frontwoman she'd ever received. (Believe me, Sarah, I'm sure it won't be the last!) I am soooo amazed by how lovely she is, and yet I'm actually not at all surprised in a lot of ways because she's always seemed to be very down to earth. It was just amazing and has not only made me feel a bit brighter but has also made me more determined than ever that whatever this thing is (IBS or Crohns or whatever) it is NOT going to beat me. Sarah Jezebel Deva has proved that you can go through really, really terrible times in your life and come out the other side a stronger person; she's inspired me to do so in the past and she's inspiring me again. I won't give up without a fight and I WILL get through this latest problem, no matter how difficult it is. I have a lot of strong female role models in my life, including Sarah, and I look to them as my inspirations and my heroines. On a day when Theresa May, the Home Secretary, scraps a law that bans domestic abusers from the home for 2 weeks to allow their partners time to consider their options and get out, I am eternally grateful that there are still strong, powerful women out there that girls can look to as their role models. Theresa May will never join my mum on my 'inspirational' list, but Sarah Jezebel Deva most definitely will...

Sleeeeeeeeppppp...

I've just come home from my day out at the Sonisphere music festival in Knebworth, so I am tired, achy and pretty deaf in both ears thanks to placing myself far too near the speakers. But happy? Ohhhh, yes...It was an absolutely awesome day out, despite my paranoia about health 'issues' (and kudos to the man in Boots at Liverpool Street who didn't look at me as if I was a total maniac), and I had the most epic time. The bands were, for the most part, fantastic (more anon), but what made it so amazing was the fact that I got to spend the time with my friends Ray and Hannah, who are among the most brilliant people in the world. Not only did we hang out at the festival all day, they also very kindly let me crash at their place last night so that I didn't have to worry about missing the last train back, and it was so much fun. hence why I'm so knackered now: Hannah and I ended up having a proper girlie sleepover (why are they called sleepovers? No one sleeps!) and talked all night. I'm lucky - I came home early this afternoon and can go to sleep on the sofa if I want to. Hannah's still at Sonisphere because she and Ray had tickets to all three days; she is a trooper and a treasure! So: Ray and Hannah, thank you again for making the weekend such brilliant fun, for letting me stay over and for being such fabulous people. Love you lots! xx RA RA!

Onto the bands...well, the ones that I saw, anyway...Sabaton were amazing, as always, and I can't wait to see them on tour later this year. Lacuna Coil seemed to have a few technical difficulties which was a shame; I'm not a huge fan but the odd song of theirs is good, and it would have been better for them if there hadn't been any issues. Ah well. Next up was Soulfly - seeing Max Cavalera 'foook shiiiit oooop!' before playing 'Roots Bloody Roots' was awesome! :D Apocalyptica made me squeal like a teenage fangirl at a pop concert (eat yer heart out, JLS) and bust my eardrums because we were so close to the amps at the front. It's a tough job, but sometimes a girl just has to do it...We headed back to the main stage to briefly catch up with a friend but as Good Charlotte were playing my ears were bleeding (and not in a good way) so we headed back to the second stage for the awesome Skunk Anansie. As a young teenager, I hero-worshipped Skin (while being slightly afraid of her) because she was - and is - such a strong, powerful woman. In the flesh, she does not disappoint...awesome lady, phenomenal singer, blinding show. Well, what we saw of it...

You see, Corey Taylor, the talented (and not unattractive) singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour was performing an acoustic set in the tent, so to make sure we got there in time we left Skunk Anansie three songs in and made for the tented stage. Just as well we did, really, because when he came on stage, the place was absolutely rammed. Before he came on we caught the set by a band called Sick Of It All, who were not my cup of tea at all, but then when they left we managed to stand to one side and listen to Corey sing. It was magic. I shed tears. He had played 'Give My Love To Rose' by Johnny Cash, which is one of my favourite Cash songs ever; then, when he played 'Bother' and dedicated a version of the Slipknot song 'Snuff' to the late Paul Gray, one of the members of Slipknot, the tears started. It was moving, it was beautiful and it was a fine tribute from one man to his friend, and from the fans to a musician they respected, as almost everyone was singing along. In short, it was one of my highlights of the day, so thank you Corey...

Next up was the mighty Motley Crue. I love Motley Crue. I don't care how many people tell me they're rubbish, I've been devoted to them since I was a teenager and, having seen them in a tent at Download festival a few years ago, there was no way I was missing this. I was, however, on my own, as I am the only Crue freak on my gang. So while Ray and Hannah managed to get awesome positions at the main stage for the headliners, I perched myself at the side of the stage and sang and danced like a total maniac to my beloved Crue. It was a fantastic show (although there were a few technical hitches along the way), but they pulled out some of the real old-school stuff and made me incredibly happy by doing so. Just do 'Primal Scream' at the next one, guys, and I'll be on cloud 9!

Which brings me to the big finale. After Crue finished, I dashed to the main stage and found myself a nice little spot on the grass at the back of the arena so that I could sing and dance my little heart out all over again to the utterly brilliant, utterly mental Rammstein. There are no words to describe how epic this show was. The lights, the pyro, the fireworks, the boat over the crowd...Till Lindemann and the rest of the band were just fantastic. Stone cold sober, I danced like a lunatic burlesque-performer-come-pole-dancer throughout the whole set and loved every second of it. The only worrying thing is that there was a camera crew wandering around and started shooting me during 'Du Hast'. I live in mortal dread of the footage ever surfacing...But it was utterly, utterly fantabulous and I loved every second of it. By the time I met up with ray and Hannah again and headed back to their place, I was shattered. And yet still Hannah and I managed to stay up (after we'd all decided at 3am to stop talking and go to bed) and talk the whole night through. Oops.

In short, this was one of the best weekends of my life. I can't even sulk too much about missing my beloved Turisas on Friday (along with Alice Cooper) or not seeing Iron Maiden and Iggy and the Stooges today; I was with great company, saw some phenomenal performances and haven't laughed so hard in ages. I'm definitely already up for next year, as long as I can go with my friends again (and maybe stay over again, if they'll have me back...)

next gig, however, is next Thursday, when I'm seeing another one of my heroines: the phenomenal Sarah Jezebel Deva. That woman is an inspiration and a legend and I can't wait!

If Music Be The Food Of Love...Part 1

...then I clearly pigged out at the buffet. One look at my music collection clearly indicates that my love of music is as eclectic as my love of clothes - some days full-on Goth, some days a hippy-chick or a skinny indie kid, and others an inmate of a Victorian Asylum for Wayward Girls. The reason for this post is because I just entered the 'Face The Music' contest at the British Music Experience website - I got 64/64 and won a prize, plus entry into the prize draw to win mega prizes (I'm crossing my fingers for the Vintage Goodward day - old clothes and old cars are my idea of heaven!) A lot of the artists they had cartooned for the competition were ones that I had grown up listening to and had really liked over the years; still do, in a lot of cases, for I'm as loyal to my favourite albums and artists as I am the new ones, which is why Iron Maiden and Black Sabbath sit happily alongside Nightwish and Apocalyptica on my shelf. I also have no problem mixing genres (well, a lot of dance music or rap irritates me beyond belief, but that's about it), which is why Kylie and Nirvana, Muse and Inkubus Sukkubus, Emilie Autumn and Garbage all rub along nicely together.

I have a big thing about women in music, though; I would say that at least half of my stuff is either female solo artists or female-fronted bands. And I'm not trying to make some big political feminist statement or anything here; a lot of the bands or artists that I love just happen to be women. I still freak out over male artists/bands just as much as anyone else does, and if you were to look at the men in music that I've lusted after over the years...well, let's just say we don't have the time to list them. But as I've got older and my tastes have expanded (musically I mean, not just hormonally, although that's probably improved somewhat), I still have a lot of affection for some of the stuff I grew up with...

It started with Kylie. I was five, she was still Charlene from Neighbours, and I was besotted with her. I wanted to be Kylie; she was so pretty and had such amazing hair and clothes...look, I was five, ok! Before that, all I'd really listened to was the Elvis my dad played and my mum's eclectic taste (classical music, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath and Duran Duran). But Kylie...she was all mine and I worshipped her. With Kylie, naturally, came Jason Donovan; it was officially love. Shortly after, I discovered (in rapid succession) Bros, New Kids on the Block, East 17, Boyzone and the Backstreet Boys...yes, I was a pop princess and proud of it! I even liked the Spice Girls...then I had a revelation when I discovered Nirvana and the old rock bands of the 70's (thanks, Mum!) At roughly the same time, the Manic Street Preachers entered my life and I entered what is known as my 'skinny indie kid' phase. That lasted pretty much all the way through college; by the time I was 18, I was a fully fledged rock and metal chick. Who still loved Kylie. What? She's bloody Kylie!! (This, by the way, is a very quick whistlestop tour of my musical history and heritage. If I listed all the bands that I loved here, half of them you won't have heard of and the other half will probably make you go "who?")

So yes...Kylie. Thanks to her, I got to know that girls could sing just as well as boys (I was 5, remember...it was an innocent time back in the 80's). And because of Kylie, I got to know the Spice Girls, who taught me girl power and encouraged my feminist leanings. On a very juvenile level, admittedly, but still...Then I discovered Alanis Morrisette, Siouxsie Sioux, Kate Bush, Shirley Manson and Courtney Love...I was officially converted to the 'girls rock' message and - although I worship my male rock gods in all their glory - it's the women who have a special place in my heart.

And so, to the women in music who have inspired me, comforted me, given expression to things I could never imagine and given voice to the things that I have; to Kylie, who started it all; to Siouxsie and Alanis; the girls in Bananarama and the Spice Girls; to Shirley and Courtney and all the other female singers and musicians that I have great respect and love for (Simone, Vibeke, Emilie, Tarja, Anette, Angela...); to all of them: thank you. And an especial thank you to the fabulous Sarah Jezebel Deva, who is not only one of the most talented and fabulous people I have ever come across, but has proved that meeting your heroes doesn't always have to mean disappointment. She is so warm and funny, and takes the time to communicate with as many of her fans as possible and that, to me, makes her even more fantastic...Cradle of Filth's loss is definitely metal's gain!



More posts in this vein to follow, I feel...gotta spread the talent!

Oops...

Yes, I have managed to successfully reach my first 'didn't post a blog entry day'. Well done me.[/sarcasm] In my defence, I was busy planning my holiday with one of my bezzies, so I think I can get away with it...maybe.

So since this is a quick 'I should have posted this yesterday' entry before I get on with today, I shall keep it short. Somebody (Liam) told me that this wasn't a proper blog because there is no mention of Liam Gallagher. I hate Liam Gallagher. I hated Oasis too, to be honest, although I thought 'Wonderwall' was blinding. So in order to make this a 'proper' blog in Liam's eyes...voila Wonderwall...



Now I am never mentioning him again...