This post was inspired by my dearly beloved and completely twisted GBF, who today made the following pronouncement:
"Ah, feeding the ducks. The most fun you can have with your clothes off."
Once I'd stopped falling about laughing at the statement (come to Southend; we feed ducks in the nude! We know how to have fun!) it got me thinking. *dons Carrie Bradshaw voice* What IS the most fun you can have with your...ok, ok, I'm kidding! But it DID start a discussion about our favourite things to do that are free...
"Ah, feeding the ducks. The most fun you can have with your clothes off."
Once I'd stopped falling about laughing at the statement (come to Southend; we feed ducks in the nude! We know how to have fun!) it got me thinking. *dons Carrie Bradshaw voice* What IS the most fun you can have with your...ok, ok, I'm kidding! But it DID start a discussion about our favourite things to do that are free...
The Top Five...
1) Feeding the ducks. With or without clothes, depending on your preference, although I highly recommend going equipped in garments of some sort. Less chilly. Also means you'll be less likely to be arrested. All you need is a park with a duck pond and some stale-ish bread, which can usually be obtained from either your own stores or by begging some from friends and relations. And yes, you may be the only adult there without a small child to assist you (for authenticity/camouflage purposes I suppose you could always borrow a small child from somewhere, but they have a tendency to ruin the atmosphere and to attempt to throw themselves headlong into the water). Et voila - a perfectly enjoyable pastime. Bread, ducks...is there anything more peaceful? Just avoid the geese - they can be nasty.
2) Libraries. Ahhhh, libraries. I have already written of my reverence for these wonderful seats of learning and shelter from the cold for the local aged, infirm and generally mental population (no one said this was PC, ok?) but there really is nothing better than pitching up to a library, settling yourself down in a corner somewhere and voraciously devouring books. Which you are then allowed to take home. For FREE!! I demand to know who first came up with this revolutionary and marvellous idea so that I can shake their hand...
3) Museums and art galleries. Admittedly there may be a small cost for this, such as a train fare to London and a bun in the cafe (and, if you're me, a shedload of money in the shop afterwards), or perhaps a small donation, but we live a country where some of the greatest paintings and bits of Ye Olde Historical Tat have been put together under one roof (or several roofs, if you're being picky about it) for our enjoyment, and nary a compulsory entrance fee among them. I might even go as far as to say the ones you DO have to pay for are rubbish...unless it's the Lawnmower Museum. Because that is just genius, obv.
4) People watching. Piece of cake, this: find somewhere that has people in it, or that people pass through at regular intervals. Sit down somewhere nearby. Observe your fellow man. Laugh internally at the hilarity/pointlessness/stupidity of your fellow man. Feel bad for being so judgemental...
5)We struggled with number 5, I'll admit. I wanted 'curling up at home with a good dvd and some hot chocolate' but Lee pointed out this necessitates spending money on a home, a dvd, a dvd player, a tv AND hot chocolate. He wanted listening to music, but I got just as pedantic and pointed out you need to spend money on music and something to play it on in the first place. We then thought sleeping, but again - money for beds. And a house. In the end we came up with sitting outside gazing up at the moon and stars, and watching the sun rise and set.
We are but simple creatures, me and the GBF...even if we DO feed he ducks while naked...
1) Feeding the ducks. With or without clothes, depending on your preference, although I highly recommend going equipped in garments of some sort. Less chilly. Also means you'll be less likely to be arrested. All you need is a park with a duck pond and some stale-ish bread, which can usually be obtained from either your own stores or by begging some from friends and relations. And yes, you may be the only adult there without a small child to assist you (for authenticity/camouflage purposes I suppose you could always borrow a small child from somewhere, but they have a tendency to ruin the atmosphere and to attempt to throw themselves headlong into the water). Et voila - a perfectly enjoyable pastime. Bread, ducks...is there anything more peaceful? Just avoid the geese - they can be nasty.
2) Libraries. Ahhhh, libraries. I have already written of my reverence for these wonderful seats of learning and shelter from the cold for the local aged, infirm and generally mental population (no one said this was PC, ok?) but there really is nothing better than pitching up to a library, settling yourself down in a corner somewhere and voraciously devouring books. Which you are then allowed to take home. For FREE!! I demand to know who first came up with this revolutionary and marvellous idea so that I can shake their hand...
3) Museums and art galleries. Admittedly there may be a small cost for this, such as a train fare to London and a bun in the cafe (and, if you're me, a shedload of money in the shop afterwards), or perhaps a small donation, but we live a country where some of the greatest paintings and bits of Ye Olde Historical Tat have been put together under one roof (or several roofs, if you're being picky about it) for our enjoyment, and nary a compulsory entrance fee among them. I might even go as far as to say the ones you DO have to pay for are rubbish...unless it's the Lawnmower Museum. Because that is just genius, obv.
4) People watching. Piece of cake, this: find somewhere that has people in it, or that people pass through at regular intervals. Sit down somewhere nearby. Observe your fellow man. Laugh internally at the hilarity/pointlessness/stupidity of your fellow man. Feel bad for being so judgemental...
5)We struggled with number 5, I'll admit. I wanted 'curling up at home with a good dvd and some hot chocolate' but Lee pointed out this necessitates spending money on a home, a dvd, a dvd player, a tv AND hot chocolate. He wanted listening to music, but I got just as pedantic and pointed out you need to spend money on music and something to play it on in the first place. We then thought sleeping, but again - money for beds. And a house. In the end we came up with sitting outside gazing up at the moon and stars, and watching the sun rise and set.
We are but simple creatures, me and the GBF...even if we DO feed he ducks while naked...
1 comment:
how about just being with your mates & family, talking about the best things you can do for free? that's free, and if it comes with a hug and stuff as well that's a bonus! xx
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